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This is a very silly bad poem that I composed for a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Vogon poetry competition. For those who don’t know, in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy the poetry of the Vogon people is ‘the third worst in the galaxy.’ The goal of this competition was to create and perform hilariously bad poetry.

The audio of a live performance of this poem, along with the five other Vogon poems, can be found in the second anniversary special episode of the Writing Alchemy Podcast.

Clip art of a white quill outlined in black that is on top of a purple splatter of ink. Behind them is a black rectangle with rounded corners (a frame) that both the quill and ink splatter are slightly sticking out of.

Clip art of a white quill outlined in black that is on top of a purple splatter of ink. Behind them is a black rectangle with rounded corners (a frame) that both the quill and ink splatter are slightly sticking out of.

 

Beach stone

(In the performance of this poem I use different pronunciation and emphasis with each repetition.)

 

Beach stone

Beach stone

Beach stone

Beach stone

Beach stone

Beach stone!

 

Stone

Stone

Stone

Stone

Beach stone

 

Round

Round

Round

Oval

Ellipsoid

Stone!

Stone!

Stone!

Stone!

Beach stone!

 

Pebbles on the beach

 

Round

Round

Round

Oval

Ellipsoid

 

Stone

Stone

Stone

Stone

Stone!

Beach stone!

 

Beach stone!

Beach stone!

Beach stone!

Beach stone!

Beach stone!

Beach stone!

 

Pebbles on the beach

 

Beach stone!!!

Beach stone!!!

Beach stone!!!

Beach stone!!!

Beach stone!!!

Beach stone!!!

 

I see driftwood

 

Thank you

 

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