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I am now releasing The Wishing Dildo in bite-sized chapters!

Summary: It is said that the Wishing Dildo can grant any wish relating to sexuality or fertility, as long as that wish is consensual. Prince Hart sure hopes that is true as he and his friend, trickster Tala, embark on a quest for it. As they travel, they soon discover that sometimes the greatest adventure is the people you meet along the way.

Note: This story contains some sexual humor.

This image is meant to capture the feeling of an exciting adventure. A road traverses a rocky, mountainous landscape that is dramatically lit by the setting sun.

This image is meant to capture the feeling of an exciting adventure. A road traverses a rocky, mountainous landscape that is dramatically lit by the setting sun.

 

The Wishing Dildo Part 1: Six Companions

Chapter 1

Once upon a time in the peaceful Kingdom of Five Quadrants, located on the west side of the Fantastical Continent along the Green Ocean coast, there lived a cisgender prince named Hart. He was honest and strong, kind and generous, graceful and handsome, and he had skin like burnished mahogany, with hair black as jet. And though he had been showered with blessings, Prince Hart had a problem. You see, he was an asexual person who never wanted to have sex, but since he was the queen’s only child and heir, there was a lot of pressure on him to produce an heir of his own. Therefore, Prince Hart sought out a magical solution, and it was said that far to the south, in the Wandering Kingdom, three royal siblings had just the artifact he needed.

Ten years ago, these siblings had gone on a quest to a strange and magical land and returned with the Wishing Dildo, a powerful artifact that had the power to grant any wish relating to sexuality or fertility, as long as that wish was consensual. Once home, the siblings built a tall tower at the place where the Errant River meets the Stormy Sea and filled it with monsters and traps to protect their prize. When that was complete, they announced to the world that anyone desiring to win the Wishing Dildo must come to the Wandering Kingdom and prove their worth by passing three tests. Of course, it was expected that each person who wanted to attempt the tests would first honor the three royal siblings with gifts both valuable and rare.

Now, Prince Hart had a great friend who was a clever trans woman named Tala. Tala was exceedingly adventurous, and she had been to the Wandering Kingdom and seen the tall, domed tower that guarded the dildo for herself. Well, Tala was more than happy to tell Prince Hart everything she knew about it in enthusiastic detail, and when Prince Hart decided to travel to the Wandering Kingdom to attempt the tests himself, Tala immediately volunteered to go with him.

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Photograph of the Women’s March showing a street between tall gray buildings packed with people with signs. There is a rainbow flag backlit by the sun, a large sign depicting a uterus with boxing gloves, a poster saying “Refugees are welcome here,” and many other only partially legible signs.

Photograph of the Women’s March showing a street between tall gray buildings packed with people with signs. There is a rainbow flag back lit by the sun, a large sign depicting a uterus with boxing gloves, a poster saying “Refugees are welcome here,” and many other only partially legible signs.

Very excited to be releasing my first part b podcast episode of my new format! Check it out!

Today’s discussion with hesitant art activist Lector Josue Morales focuses on the topics of art and activism and how they intersect with disability, community, and race. In this conversation we challenge ourselves to expand our ideas about what activism is so that we can fully value the diverse kinds of activism that people are doing.

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I am so excited to share with you the beautiful image that Majin Roses  created to illustrate “Tala and Death’s Embrace!”

Tala stands holding a sheet of parchment with blurry numbers on it. Across from her Death, depicted as older woman with white hair, sits on a bed with her scythe casually draped over her shoulder. In the background is a fireplace with a golden fire burning in it.

Tala stands holding a sheet of parchment with blurry numbers on it. Across from her Death, depicted as older woman with white hair, sits on a bed with her scythe casually draped over her shoulder. In the background is a fireplace with a golden fire burning in it.

A zoom in on the score sheet that clearly shows numbers crossed out, added, moved, question marks, and a smiley face.

A zoom in on the score sheet that clearly shows numbers crossed out, added, moved, question marks, and a smiley face.

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Citrus Apple Bake

Photograph of a red and yellow Jonagold apple sitting on a pile of similar apples.

Photograph of a red and yellow Jonagold apple sitting on a pile of similar apples.

This tastes like delicious, sweet, flavorful pie filling but with a mild impact on blood sugar (probably medium to low glycemic). It is delicious warm, and perhaps even better cold. Once cooked, the flavor can improve over several days of refrigeration as the oils from the zest continue to be released.

Using a sweet variety of apples such as Fugi (not Granny Smith!) allows this to be a low (or even no) sugar added recipe. This is because this recipe uses the apples as the source of sweetness and then uses the lemon as the source of tartness, rather than using the apples as the source of tartness and then adding sugar for sweetness as happens in so many recipes. Apples are actually a low glycemic fruit with lots of soluble fiber making them a much healthier source of sweetness. The small amount of honey in this recipe is used primarily for its flavor and can be omitted if desired.

 

Ingredients

  • Zest, juice, and pulp from one large lemon
  • Zest, juice, and pulp from one medium to large orange
  • 1 Tbl honey (optional)
  • 8 to 10 apples (cored and chopped into quarter inch cubes)
  • Light dusting cinnamon

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Penguins and Tea Cups

Stylized image of a penguin standing on a still partially curled square of sod that is resting on a stack of tea cups. There is one tea cup beside the penguin on top of the sod.

Stylized image of a penguin standing on a still partially curled square of sod that is resting on a stack of tea cups. There is one tea cup beside the penguin on top of the sod.

This is a humorous piece I wrote several years ago and I think it is about time I shared it on this blog.

I had a strange dream last night, really strange for me because it didn’t have a proper plot and most of my dreams have a plot. A bunch of birds were creating nests in the yard of the home I used to live in with my mother. My mother just sold her house, so I guess it has been in my thoughts lately.

Anyway, there was a whole flock of these birds making nests everywhere on the ground. They were packed in like sea birds nesting on a small island, all competing for space and I knew that as time went on there would be fewer and fewer nests as the winners forced the others to leave. Knowing what lies in the future is pretty typical for my dreams, as if my dreams are books that I’m rereading.

The strangest part of the dream was the surreal imagery. The birds were all making nests out rolls of sod and collections of china. Each bird had a collection of perfect, unblemished tea cups with matching saucers stuffed underneath their sod blankets. While the ones which had been kicked out waddled away with their belongings, which were tumbled haphazardly into wheeled plastic bins with large stiff rectangular handles that the birds pushed against, like little horses pulling carriages.

But the birds were still leaving stacks and stacks of china behind, littered on the ground and in heaps in the flower beds and I was following after them and their grey rolling bins with my hands full of the perfect tea cups on matching saucers telling those birds that they had to take it all with them. They couldn’t just leave the tea cups because I had no where to put them.

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The Mythcreants podcast image is a stylized white crescent moon inside concentric rings of dark blue and purple that get darker father out.

The Mythcreants podcast image is a stylized white crescent moon inside concentric rings of dark blue and purple that get darker father out.

This is my third time as a guest host on The Mythcreants Podcast and Episode 107 is all about stories that implement social justice messages (or fail to).

“We’ve all got our social justice axes to grind, and as we are joined by Fay for a third week, this is the time to get them out. We discuss several episodes of Star Trek that tried for a positive message but shot themselves in the foot, how Dragonlance needs to understand that racism isn’t just for goblins and orcs, and some basic ways to separate ableism from positive depictions of disability. But somehow, most impressively, we don’t spend the entire episode raving about Zootopia!”

Check it out!

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The Mythcreants podcast image is a stylized white crescent moon inside concentric rings of dark blue and purple that get darker father out.

The Mythcreants podcast image is a stylized white crescent moon inside concentric rings of dark blue and purple that get darker father out.

So excited to be guest hosting on the Mythcreants podcast for the second time! This is a 30 min episode that is a lively three person discussion. Please check it out!

“Once upon a time, Fay once again joined Oren and Chris, this time to discuss fairy tales. The first question on our minds: what is a fairy tale, exactly? Is it any story with fairies in it? Does it need to have a happy ending? We also talk about when a fairy tale transitions into a normal fantasy story, the morals fairy tales are famous for, and why people complain about eagles in Lord of the Rings but not the Hobbit. You’d better listen, or else your kingdom will fall under some kind of unrealistic but very ironic curse.”

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The Mythcreants podcast image is a stylized white crescent moon inside concentric rings of dark blue and purple that get darker father out.

The Mythcreants podcast image is a stylized white crescent moon inside concentric rings of dark blue and purple that get darker father out.

So excited to be guest hosting on the Mythcreants podcast! It’s 30 min episode that is a lively three person discussion. Please check it out!

“Another week brings us a brand new guest host, Fay Onyx of Writing Alchemy. With Fay on board, we discuss how to draw inspiration from roleplaying characters, so you won’t have to let that treasured PC go after the final session. We discuss the benefits of channeling RPG characters into your work, as well as pitfalls to avoid. We hear all about Fay’s RPG inspired system for quickly generating side characters. And of course,  we look at existing novels where the author has done this very thing, just to see how it all turns out. Listen in, and you too can transfer protagonists from character sheet to page.”

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I’m super excited to be releasing the first podcast of my new series!

We return to intersectional fairy tales as hesitant art activist Lector Josue Morales joins Fay for the start of The Wishing Dildo Series in which Prince Hart and Tala embark on their quest for The Wishing Dildo and meet a surprising new companion. The following discussion focuses on the representation of disability in speculative fiction and the difference between using a disabled character to tell an able-bodied story and having a character that represents the experiences of disabled people.

The Wishing Dildo Part 1: It is said that the Wishing Dildo can grant any wish relating to sexuality or fertility, as long as that wish is consensual. Prince Hart sure hopes that is true as he and his friend, trickster Tala, embark on a quest for it. As they travel, they soon discover that sometimes the greatest adventure is the people you meet along the way.

This image is meant to capture the feeling of an exciting adventure. A road traverses a rocky, mountainous landscape that is dramatically lit by the setting sun.

This image is meant to capture the feeling of an exciting adventure. A road traverses a rocky, mountainous landscape that is dramatically lit by the setting sun.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A web of rope-like fibers twirl and twist together to form a close up picture of a person’s face. Their skin is a medium brown, their features are somewhat feminine, and their eyes are closed. This is intended to be suggestive of both the complexity of experience and of perception.

A web of rope-like fibers twirl and twist together to form a close up picture of a person’s face. Their skin is a medium brown, their features are somewhat feminine, and their eyes are closed. This is intended to be suggestive of both the complexity of experience and of perception.

I’m super excited to announce that after a long delay caused by a nasty virus that Writing Alchemy Podcast Episode 13 is finally up!

This interlude episode is all about intersections, with a focus on fatness, disability, gender, and queer identity. Guest Kristina Gibbs-Ruby reads a powerful spoken word piece about bullying and fatphobia while Fay reads hir popular article, “Why Having Conditional Privilege Is Not the Same as Simply Being Privileged,” which delves into the complexity of invisible identities, privilege, oppression, gatekeeping, and the struggle to be recognized as real through hir personal experiences.

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