This is a very silly bad poem that I composed for a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Vogon poetry competition. For those who don’t know, in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy the poetry of the Vogon people is ‘the third worst in the galaxy.’ The goal of this competition was to create and perform hilariously bad poetry.
The audio of a live performance of this poem, along with the five other Vogon poems, can be found in the second anniversary special episode of the Writing Alchemy Podcast.
Clip art of a white quill outlined in black that is on top of a purple splatter of ink. Behind them is a black rectangle with rounded corners (a frame) that both the quill and ink splatter are slightly sticking out of.
Stone
(This poem is read in an exaggerated, melodramatic manner.)
Stone!
I look at the stone
It is round!
But not exactly round
It is more of an oval, really
But not exactly oval
It is a bent oval
Except that an oval is not a three dimensional shape
So it is a sphere!
But not exactly a sphere
It is more of an ellipsoid, really
But not exactly an ellipsoid
It is a bent ellipsoid
Perhaps the word I am looking for is stone-shaped
It is a stone-shape stone
Stone!
I look at the stone
It is stone-shaped!
